Books Relating to My Question

In Long Way Gone, Kite Runner, and Crime and Punishment, the main character becomes his own antagonist when he commits a crime because he can no longer forgive himself. The main characters in each of these stories loose faith in themselves during the course of their stories, and must somehow forgive themselves before healing can begin. Only through finding the strength within themselves can they finally feel ready to move on.

In Long Way Gone, Ishmael Beah looses his family to rebel soldiers in Sierra Leone, so he joins an army to fight against those that brutally murdered his villiage. However, as he attempts to right the terrible sin that was committed against his family, he becomes his own worst enemy. In the name of revenge and justice, he commits the same atrocities that he hated so much , and in this way he becomes the same monster he was fighting to stop.

When he and the other child soldiers are rescued and taken to a rehabilitation center, Ishmael finally has a chance to turn his life around. But he finds that although the workers at the center have a continual mantra: they proclaim "it's not your fault" and try to blame the boy's choices on their situations. However this only angers Ishmael more because he is haunted by the atrocities he commited, and he feels truly responsible for the choices he made. As he gets more familiar with his life at the rehabilitation center, he is able to remember the past. Memories and nightmares blend together as he starts to realize how hateful he had become. In one nightmare, it seems to Ishmael that every victim's wounds become his own and he feels the pain of his enemies (164).

It was Esther, a nurse from the center, that offered Ishmael his first real chance for change. She offered Ishmael simple friendship, and slowly Ishmael could look past the nightmares and violence. He slowly begins to remember childhood memories, and this is the glimmer of hope he needed to have a chance at change. Esther was the first person who got Ishmael to believe that he didn't have to be the monster he thought he was. As he begins to open up to Ester (166) , Ishmael starts to break down the walls with which he had encircled his feelings.